Sunday, May 20, 2012

Night at the Movies at Town Park in Mansfield



Last night the kids and I went to Town Park for Night at the Movies. They do this through out the summer. It was a great time. They had penguins out for the kids to see, a magic show and then Happy Feet 2.






 

Ava got to be in the Magic Show

Enjoying a snow cone

Happy Feet 2 is starting!!
 
 
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Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Fear and Anxiety

My wonderful small group has been doing a wonderful bible study since February called Breaking Free. It is about breaking free from strongholds in our life. I am thankful that my life has never had to deal with physical abuse, drugs or alcohol issues, or the many other "big strongholds" that our minds would immediately go to. Until this study, I have really associated strongholds with circumstances in my life. I thought the strongholds were the result of pain that I have experienced as a result of things... my eyes have been opened WIDE to the fact that I am a person that lives in fear and anxiety... and it doesn't have to be due to a difficult circumstance. It can be anything... from a crack in a wall in my house, the fear of something happening to one of my children, the fear of something happening to my marriage, the fear of struggling financially, the fear of being sick and getting cancer, the fear of losing my hair, the fear of losing a friendship, the fear of being misunderstood... the list goes on and on. And with that, the ANXIETY. My eyes are full with tears just even typing about it. Literally, the past month, I have been attacked to no end. It's like now that I know what is my BIG stronghold, now that I am not in denial about it, the Enemy is just trying to get me on all sides. I have found myself obsessing over things that I have absolutely no control over. I will keep myself awake at night plaqued with fear. One night, the only way I got myself to sleep was by reciting scripture over and over. This morning, after another night of worry, I woke up extra early because I needed to really have alone time with God. I know who I am in Christ, I know that God has the peace that he longs to give me as a gift, I know that His ONLY Son, died so I might be free from this... and I don't want it to be in vain. This morning was painfully beautiful if that makes sense at all. I don't want the enemy to get any glory with me. I know that God is telling me as compassionately as he can, "I can take care of you... if you will only let go." It is like a tug of war, I am telling you... why do I fight so hard when I know that it isn't my game to win... it is the One who created me, who knows every little thing that hurts me and he is the only one that knows how to fix me. Near the end of my morning time, I received the most beautiful text from my sweet friend Gennie. She sent me the devotional from the book, Jesus Calling, for today. Mind you, she had no idea that I was in this moment with God. You all, really God speaks through people and today he had to find a way to get these words to me, because sometimes I am too wrapped up in Me to listen.
Jesus Calling, April 2nd
I have promised to meet all your needs according to My glorious riches.  Your deepest, most constant need is for My Peace.  I have planted Peace in the garden of your heart, where I live; but there are weeds growing there too: pride, worry, selfishness, unbelief.  I am the Gardener, and I am working to rid your heart of those weeds.  I do My work in various ways.  When you sit quietly with Me, I shine the Light of My Presence directly into your heart.  In this heavenly Light, Peace grows abundantly and weeds shrivel up.  I also send trials into your life.  When you trust Me in the midst of trouble, Peace flourishes and weeds die away.  Thank Me for troublesome situations: the Peace they can produce far outweighs the trials you endure.
 
I honestly don't know if anyone else can relate to this, because I know we all deal with things differently, but I want you to know, that I know this doesn't have to be our life. We have to let go of the fear, of the stuff that we can't control, of all the "what ifs" because it is stealing our joy... so today my prayer that I am repeating over and over is this:
Lord, thank you for coming here to save me from myself... thank you for being the most perfect dad. Thank you for loving me. Please help to let go. Loosen my grip, unpry my fingers from the rope and take it. Fill me with your Presence because I want to experience Your Peace.
Pride almost kept me from putting this on my blog today. Someone is going to read this and be surprised to know that I struggle so much. Ironically, I am the leader of this bible study. Ha! But you know what, in order for me to have freedom, I can't live behind a mask. God has done some really amazing things in my life, and I am much closer to Him than I was 5 years ago, but it is a journey. As long as I am here, he must have some more work to do in me... so if that's is the case, then I am just going to be honest about it. Hopefully I will be able to tell you by the end of this study that I am living in freedom of Fear... and it will all be because of HIM... because it definitely isn't ME.

 
 
 

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Things Worth Remembering

These are things that I have found that are worth remembering:

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray.
Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers,
letting God know your concerns.
Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness,
everything coming together for good,
will come and settle you down.
It’s wonderful what happens
when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
Summing it all up, friends,
I’d say you’ll do best by
filling your minds and meditating on things
true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—
the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly;
things to praise, not things to curse.”
Philippians 4:6-8, The Message

Excerpt taken from Stasi Eldredge’s Captivating, pgs 99-100
“You see, we all pretty much handle our brokenness in the same way- we mishandle it. It hurts too much to go there. So we shut the door to that room in our heart and throw away the key…But that does not bring healing. Not at all. It might bring relief- for a while. But never healing. Usually it orphans the little girl in that room, leaves her to fend for herself. The best thing we can do is to let Jesus come in, open the door and invite Him in to find us in those hurting places. It might come as a surprise that Christ asks our permission to come in and heal but He is kind and the door is shut from the inside, and healing never comes against our will. In order to experience His healing we must also give Him permission to come in to the places we have so long shut to anyone. Jesus asks, ‘will you let Me heal you?’”

From Beth Moore's Esther
“We [have] talked about how the enemy and our own self-destructive natures combine to taunt us with ‘what ifs.’ Once we are in Christ, Satan has no authority to destroy us, so he settles for the next best thing: threatening to destroy us. Based on our histories and behaviors he deduces what we ourselves are most convinced would raze us.
To the Devil, the irony is delicious. Our distrust of God tattles on us, telling our enemy exactly how to get to us. Many of us habilitually rehearse, ‘If ___ ever happens, then I’ll just ___.’ Our fears become like long, bony index fingers pointing at our vulnerabilities. Once Satan sees what we believe would be the end of us, he threatens and torments us with it.
Our natural human defense is to grovel before God and plead with Him not to let those things happen. Our conditional trust not only makes us an open target for enemy torment; it also positions us as negotiators and beggars before God instead of secure children who trust their lives to their faithful Father…
The most critical breakthrough of faith you and I could ever experience is to let God bring us to a place where we trust him–period. We don’t just trust Him to let us avoid what we fear most. We determine to trust Him no matter what, even if our worst nightmare befall us. We have no greater victory and can render Satan no harsher blow.”
A few Bible verses I am finding helpful to replace worries with truth in my mind:
  • “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:1).
  • “Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace” (Romans 8:5-6).
  • “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:6-8).
  • “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things” (Colossians 3:2).
  • “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7 KJV).

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Meal Plan Monday Week of March 19th

Monday: Chicken Tortilla Soup http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2011/01/chicken-tortilla-soup/
Tuesday- Biggest Loser Turkey Lettuce Wraps http://www.prevention.com/health/weight-loss/diets-getting-started/biggest-loser-recipes/article/59b46146ef026110VgnVCM20000012281eac____
Wednesday- grilled chicken and baked potatoes
Thursday- leftovers ( hubby is gone)
Friday- Amy's Tomato Soup ( best canned tomato soup) and cucumber salad
Saturday and Sunday- out to eat with family

Ava's Boren Idol at School


Ava was in a singing competition at her school. It was called Boren Idol. The students had to first try out in front of two classes during their music class. If they got a "golden ticket", they would come back Friday to perform in the gym in front of the whole second grade. Here are the videos. She sang, " Hold Me" by Jaime Grace. They were only aloud to sing the first verse and chorus. Here you go...
And the winner is...






Sunday, March 11, 2012

Breaking Free Week 3- The Obstacle of Pride

This was a deep day for me. After doing the homework for this day, I remembered the Beth Moore, So Long Insecurity Book. When we first think of pride, we think of arrogance, right? Of course, people who are prideful think they are better than everybody else. Well, that is not me... I am good on this pride thing. If I am being honest, I can tell you this has been one area where I have always thought... nope not me. I may struggle with stuff, but this isn't one of them. Let me just tell you... God has a way of humbling us doesn't he? And that is clearly what he did.
All my life, I have struggled with insecurity, feelings of rejection, and comparing myself and my talents to others. I have always been insecure about my weight, my looks, my talents, and my relationships. I am one of those approval addicts. If someone doesn't like me, I can obsess myself over the big WHY word. All along, I had no idea that I was really dealing with a bigger issue... pride. While reading her book ( if you haven't, get out there and get it... amazing!), Beth clearly shows that arrogance and insecurity share one common denominator... pride. When people are arrogant, you may hear: " I am wonderful", " I am amazing at this" , " Look at all I can do". When people are insecure, you may here..." I am lacking in this", " I can't seem to measure up" , " I am awful at this", " I hate my body, I hate my appearance". Both situations, one word seems to bring itself up and that is "I". The denominator is self absorbtion. That is what pride is. It is setting ourselves up on a throne where only God belongs. When I am worried about my appearance or my abilities, it usually is always because I crave affirmation or admiration... and that is just not who I want to be. Through out this study, I am constantly asking God to reveal places in my life where this is present. Ladies, this is the area where pride is present in me. If I truly look at this correctly, the one that needs esteeming is not me, I need to esteem my God and give him my affirmation and my admiration. Father, I need you to renew my mind. I found a poem today from Beth Moore that speaks on pride... and a song.

"My Name is Pride" by Beth Moore

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God-given destiny…
because you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment…
because you “deserve better than this.”
I cheat you of knowledge…
because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing…
because you are too full of you to forgive.
I cheat you of holiness…
because you refuse to admit when you are wrong.
I cheat you of vision…
because you’d rather look in the mirror than out a window.
I cheat you of genuine friendship…
because nobody’s going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love…
because real romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in heaven…
because you refuse to wash another’s feet on earth.
I cheat you of God’s glory…
because I convinced you to seek your own.
My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I’m always looking out for you.
Untrue.
I’m looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don’t worry…
If you stick with me you’ll never know.


Song:


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Breaking Free Week 3- Day 1

Beth Moore, Week 3, Day 1: Unbelief

Currently, our bible study is working through Beth Moore's Breaking Free. I can't express how powerful, how deep, how vulnerable this bible study has been for me. For so many years, most of my life actually, I have had a few things I just can't let go of. I struggle with approval, I struggle with trust, I struggle with fear, and I struggle with letting go of past hurt. I can't tell you how many times I have told myself, " No more Andrea. You aren't going to think those things anymore, you aren't going to act that way, you are going to let that go", only to find myself the following day going back to the same thought patterns. I have always vowed that I don't want this to define me. I don't want to live as a person imprisoned by fear or doubt. I have committed my whole heart to this study, and really do BELIEVE that I will leave this study having "broke free" from these strongholds. This week, day 1 started with Unbelief... Do you really believe God is who He says He as and can DO what His Word says He can? Funny thing is, I can tell others all the time that is true. I can tell others to believe and to have hope, that God is more than we could ever dream He could be. In my own life and my own struggles, sometimes I do not live what I preach to others. I see God bringing confidence to a woman, helping her overcome bitterness or betrayal. I see marriages healed, I see children healed of illness, I see women made new... Sometimes, I find myself thinking... "I know you have helped them, I see what you have done in their life, Lord. But do you know how long I have struggled with this. Do you know how scared I am... do you know what that person did to me... I am a mess, can you really help me?" And you know... I know he can... but sometimes, that inner place in me that I don't want anyone to see, doubts. So I am on my knees, saying to you Father... I BELIEVE... LORD HELP MY UNBELIEF.  I found a prayer on http://www.heartlight.org/ that spoke to me and I would like to share...
O Abba Father, I believe, but please help my faith to grow stronger and to become more confident so that I can serve you in more powerful ways ... to your glory. In Jesus' name. Amen.


I also found a song that really said perfectly how I feel. After listening, I would love a discussion today. Do you struggle with unbelief? In what areas of your life do you fully believe God is who He says He is? In what areas of your life are you doubting? If you do not struggle with this, can you explain how you got to that place?
Song: Jenny Phillips, " Help my Unbelief"