Beth Moore, Week 3, Day 1: Unbelief
Currently, our bible study is working through Beth Moore's Breaking Free. I can't express how powerful, how deep, how vulnerable this bible study has been for me. For so many years, most of my life actually, I have had a few things I just can't let go of. I struggle with approval, I struggle with trust, I struggle with fear, and I struggle with letting go of past hurt. I can't tell you how many times I have told myself, " No more Andrea. You aren't going to think those things anymore, you aren't going to act that way, you are going to let that go", only to find myself the following day going back to the same thought patterns. I have always vowed that I don't want this to define me. I don't want to live as a person imprisoned by fear or doubt. I have committed my whole heart to this study, and really do BELIEVE that I will leave this study having "broke free" from these strongholds. This week, day 1 started with Unbelief... Do you really believe God is who He says He as and can DO what His Word says He can? Funny thing is, I can tell others all the time that is true. I can tell others to believe and to have hope, that God is more than we could ever dream He could be. In my own life and my own struggles, sometimes I do not live what I preach to others. I see God bringing confidence to a woman, helping her overcome bitterness or betrayal. I see marriages healed, I see children healed of illness, I see women made new... Sometimes, I find myself thinking... "I know you have helped them, I see what you have done in their life, Lord. But do you know how long I have struggled with this. Do you know how scared I am... do you know what that person did to me... I am a mess, can you really help me?" And you know... I know he can... but sometimes, that inner place in me that I don't want anyone to see, doubts. So I am on my knees, saying to you Father... I BELIEVE... LORD HELP MY UNBELIEF. I found a prayer on http://www.heartlight.org/ that spoke to me and I would like to share...
O Abba Father, I believe, but please help my faith to grow stronger and to become more confident so that I can serve you in more powerful ways ... to your glory. In Jesus' name. Amen.
I also found a song that really said perfectly how I feel. After listening, I would love a discussion today. Do you struggle with unbelief? In what areas of your life do you fully believe God is who He says He is? In what areas of your life are you doubting? If you do not struggle with this, can you explain how you got to that place?
Song: Jenny Phillips, " Help my Unbelief"