Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Highs and the Lows of Marriage

Many of you know that one of the biggest passions of my life is marriage. I believe that God started that fire in me at a very early age. I was a child of divorce and it was very hard. Being the oldest, I felt a huge responsibility and a major sense of loss when our family became broken. Over the years, I have had to work through a lot of pain associated with that time of my life. I have learned many things along the way. I have learned to not be judgemental over anyone's circumstances, I have learned to have empathy for everyone involved, but unfortunetly most of all, I have learned the habit of fear in my own marriage. For many years, I allowed my fear over what happened with my own parents to affect my own marriage. I thought that as long as I had control over my husband, he wouldn't leave. It was a very suffocating way to live I promise. I have talked in some detail about the hard times of my own marriage. There was a time in my life where I didn't think we would make it but I learned a huge lesson through that time. I had to stop making my husband a god in my life. In other words, I had to stop putting such high expectations on my husband that he would never be able to meet. I started letting God be God and my husband be my husband. I had my priorities out of alignment and had to realign them. God became the most important thing and Josh and I allowed God to be at the very center of our marriage. After I got to that place, the rebuilding happened, and today I can tell you, we are in the best spot we have ever been in. We have a mutual respect for one another, we honor each other, and we are best friends. I say this is in the most humblest of ways. We were on our way to being a statisitic but because of God's grace and mercy, we are a living testament today that anything is possible. I found a book today that I will start reading soon. It is called "What Women Fear" by Angie Smith. There are many fears discussed in this book: Marriage, Children, Dying...etc.. I will start posting about this book, but if any of you would like to join me in reading this, let me know and maybe we can start a little coffee house book club of some sort. I also found a wonderful website on marriage that I wanted to share with you. Please read these if you are interested:
This is a website to go to that is awesome for marriage
These are also great tools:

1 comment:

  1. Love it! Thanks for sharing and being so honest with your own struggles. I too have made some of those same mistakes with my husband. There is so much freedom that comes from releasing him from unrealistic expectations and placing God in that position instead. Love you girl, keep up the passion. God can use you to save families!